WWDC 2018: Moar liek YAWN 2018, amirite?

Yesterday's WWDC was the first one I missed the live stream for since I began discchord! I was distracted by my own development. I wanted to finally make the search bar in the menu actually search when you click "search" from the iOS keyboard. So it does that now.

Nothing to See Here

Apple didn't have anything new to show, so here is a picture of a ridiculously cute kitten. I'm looking at that and I'm like, "How are you so tiny, kitten?" It seems physically impossible for some reason. Like a little ambulatory fluff ball.

Goddamn that is just so adorable.

Seriously. Nothing.

Instead of showing pictures of kittens, Apple wasted a lot of people's time with more nonsensical animated emojis. The only people who can use these are iPhone X users, and the only people that would want to are kids. So some very rich kids are probably happy with this year's WWDC, but if you wanted any new devices or functionality you're out of luck.

Apple were so pressed to fill time that they spent 10 minutes on Augmented Reality Legos. Seriously.

Let's Play with Kronecker - Clockwork Synthesizer

I had other things planned for this week, but when iceGear released Kronecker on Monday all of those plans changed. Every single iceGear app is a new world to explore, and Kronecker is no exception. It features a simplified FM oscillator that is then run into a series of Resonators, with a sequencer that dictates when the oscillator triggers. You can have up to 4 layers with all of this going on to make a very big sound!

Video Description:

I love iceGear's apps. Every single one is a new innovative invention to explore. Kronecker continues that tradition with an entirely unique synthesis engine. Let's Play with it! Available on iTunes: https://goo.gl/GAciVD

If you've enjoyed this series please consider supporting it by becoming a Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/discchord If you'd prefer to help on a monthly basis, instead of per video, there is a monthly Patreon campaign: https://www.patreon.com/discchord_com (Patrons of both campaigns get the same benefits, including Ad Free viewing on the site!)

Scumbag Developers Turn Their Attention to Music Apps

For years now there have been a lot of shady "developers" who merely troll through GitHub finding open-source apps which they then lazily rebrand and try to sell on the App Store. In the "Music" category this has mostly been limited to Radio apps. AudioKit developer Matthew Fecher was the original developer who open-sourced his radio app, the code for which now pollutes the App Store with literally thousands on copy-cats.

This necessitated a very specific function in the discchord code to weed them out of my new apps feed:

Now the scumbags are getting greedy. Luca Jaeger, an alleged shitbag, has released Wavetable Synthesizer Analog using the source code for Analog Synth X by Matthew Fecher and Aurelius Prochazka. While the original Analog Synth X is free, Luca's new "Wavetable Synthesizer Analog" is $9... with a weekly $1 subscription fee! You get nothing new in this app, nor even anything from the subscription.

This is just a greedy cash grab!

As Tom from Synth Anatomy points out, everything about this app is garbage. Even their contact page is a joke, with nonsensical phone numbers like 12345/67890, and an email address of info@website.com. So lazy.

Avoid this and be wary; I'm sure more of these will arrive soon. You could also download the real thing for free!

Which Disney Princess Are You? Take This Quiz to Find Out!

Internet juggernaut Buzzfeed has purchased discchord in an acqui-hire to secure the prosaic writing of yours truly. Most of the content you've come to associate with discchord will still be here... Only better!

Given Buzzfeed's forumlaic headlines and appeal to the lowest common denominator, you may think that the people behind Buzzfeed were severely impaired cretins. Perhaps the victims of an industrial chemical accident that was extraordinarily high in mercury. You'd be incorrect in either surmise! Bafflingly, and sadly, Buzzfeed hires some of the brightest minds of their generation.

Their honed talent has perfected the art of journalism. Dan Rathers has been disgraced, Walter Cronkite is dead, and Christiane Amanpour has never once deigned to tell us which celebrity would be our best bestie based on a quiz of our puppy preferences. The old generation of elitist news is over and overthrown by millennials prepared to tackle the vexing challenges of the 21st century:

Are You More Mickey Mouse Or Minnie Mouse?"

Under their strict guidance, and well worn article formula, I'm certain discchord will flourish!

Apple Event: You didn't miss much.

Today Apple held a major press event at a school in Chicago. A select group of tech journalists from all over the world descended on Chicago's Lane Tech College Prep School where it was revealed that they wasted their time traveling to Chicago. Don't get me wrong. I love Chicago. But I wouldn't have even traveled their from the suburbs for this.

The focus of the event was on education. They also introduced a new version of their $330 iPad, not to be confused with the iPad Air, which has been removed from the Apple Store... presumably to avoid confusion. The new iPad sports the A10 from the iPhone 7, and includes Apple Pencil support.

I was initially dismayed to hear them stuffing this with the iPhone 7's chip, but there are benchmarks that suggest it slightly outperforms the original iPad Pro and iPad Pro 9.7".

If you're looking for a cheap iPad upgrade the new iPad is available for order today, with delivery on April 2nd.

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