Apple iPhone Event 2020: 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G 5G

In a move that is sure to be greeted rationally, Apple is all-in on 5G. Today's Apple event included the phrase more frequently than the number of people who can actually use 5G in their area. In addition to its well-documented implications for the downfall of humanity, 5G includes some real limitations many people may be unaware of and Apple didn't mention.

Even if 5G is available in your area, there is a big difference between 5G and the ultrawide-band that Apple and Verizon were promoting today. Regular 5G low-band is only marginally faster than 4G/LTE. In fact, in a recent test AT&T and T-Mobile users had slower speeds on 5G than 4G.

Today's event hyped up the faster millimeter Wave (mmWave) 5G ultra-band signal. They failed to mention that it has an absurdly limited range; requiring line-of-sight to an enabled tower, without any obstructions. mmWave cannot even penetrate glass. This is why the only example they showed of it working was at a stadium! If you're outside in an entirely open field you'll still only be able to experience 5G mmWave if you're within 500 meters of a tower. There's also a 5G mid-band that offers wider coverage, and faster than 4G speeds, but is unlikely to penetrate inside of buildings.

This technology is intended to be a replacement to your home Internet, with a fixed antenna on your roof. Putting it in a phone is a nearly pointless exercise in technological brinksmanship! The amount of attention given to it in this event is an embarrassing example of how meaningless marketing is dictating the path at Apple. They did have some impressive technology to show off. Instead of focusing on their 5nm manufacturing, or insanely powerful Neural Engine, or the fact that this is a phone with 6 CPUs, they tried to cram in a 5G mention wherever they could. Even the fucking camera demo included 5G nonsense!

Well if Apple doesn't think any that's worth exploring, I guess I won't either. This 5G year's 5G iPhones 5G include 5G a mini 5G iPhone, with 5G the 5G same 5G specs 5G as 5G iPhone 5G 12 5G under 5G a 5G smaller 5G 5.4" 5G screen. The iPhone 12 mini and Pros can be preordered on November 6th, and they will ship out starting on the 13th. The iPhone 12 will be shipping on the 23rd of October, with preorders starting this Friday.

And one more thing... all that 5G tech costs an extra $100 over last year's models. They did a good job of obscuring that in this graphic. The mini iPhone is $699, the regular iPhone 12 starts at $800!

Let's Play with Electric Vintage

I love apeSoft but the last two apps did not excite me. I reported Accordion Vintage as a crime against humanity, and frankly ignored Electric Vintage. I just don't like Accordions or Fender Rhodes. I was planning on doing something with an effects app this week and needed a sound source. I saw Electric Vintage in my unused app list and decided to give it a shot. I was completely blown away.

Electric Vintage is capable of so much more than just a boring emulation of the classic Rhodes!

Video Description:

This is an unexpected Let's Play for me, because I hate the Fender Rhodes Piano sound. Fortunately, and surprisingly, apeSoft's Electric Vintage lets us go far beyond the classic into insane new territory!

If you've enjoyed this series please consider supporting it by becoming a Patreon: If you'd prefer to help on a monthly basis, instead of per video, there is a monthly Patreon campaign: Or you can support me on Timmeon if you don't like Patreon: (Patrons of these campaigns get the same benefits, including Ad Free viewing on the site!)

Apple September 2020 Event: Apple Watch & New iPads

Today was Apple's second post-apocalypse keynote delivered from their billionaire-bugout spaceship. I started watching this one with low expectations for anything interesting. Those expectations were shattered at the end of the presentation when they made the 2020 iPad Pro, released six-months ago, obsolete.

Apple Watch 6

The 6th Apple watch was announced today. This is the 6th time Apple has tried to sell a watch to a world that stopped wearing watches decades ago. Undaunted by the purposelessness of the device, Apple continues to push faster processing into this year's model.

Instead of presenting a "killer app", or any reason at all for these things to be a thing, Apple tried to position this as a fitness tool. The watch will be pivotal to tracking your activity with a new subscription service, Fitness+.

Fitness is important, so I won't give them too much shit for this. I will say though that an iPad or iPhone is a much better investment if you're looking for something to keep you entertained doing boring activities like treadmills or stationary bikes. Play a game that keeps your mind occupied and you can keep going for ages. This has been my own trick for years, and I'm still hitting the treadmill every single day; often 2-3 times per day.

iPad Air 4

Today was the day my shiny iPad Air 3 was scheduled for obsolescence. This is something every customer has to come to terms with and accept. Which I did. No one was prepared for the iPad Pro from just six-months ago to also become obsolete today.

The new iPad Air 4 is only 10.9", so the iPad Pro still has 0.1" on it and supports Face ID. Beyond that the new iPad Air 4 is crushing the Pro on specs. The new iPad Air even gets all the Pro features: USB-C, Apple Pencil 2, and even Smart Keyboard support.

The iPad Pro released in March sports an A12Z processor, which I noted was an incremental improvement from the previous Pro's A12X. The new iPad Air comes with an A14 manufactured at 5nm. This lets them pack a hell of a lot of transistors into a tiny, energy efficient, space. The A12Z includes 8 CPU cores, but only 4 of those are full-tier CPUs, while the other half are "efficient cores" according to Apple's marketing department. The A14 includes 2 high-performance CPUs, and 4 efficient cores.

We don't yet know the speed of the CPUs in the A14. They could be faster than the A12Z thanks to the 5nm manufacturing process. Perhaps the 2 extra CPUs in the iPad Pro are superior to the A14's offerings, but calculating the price:performance ratio has gotten complicated. The new Air is $100 more than the previous model. The price gap between a top-tier 256GB iPad Air and a bottom-tier 128GB iPad Pro is now only $50!

The new iPad Air 4 arrives next month in a variety of color options, as $600 64GB and $750 256GB models.

Correction: This article listed the 64GB iPad Air 4 as $700. Thanks to zaubrer for pointing out this typo.

The Verge condensed the whole presentation down to just 12 minutes!

discchord Update & Do Any Celebrities Read This Site?

discchord got a big update today, but most of the changes are in the backend that you'll never see. These features help me in my ongoing battle against Apple and YouTube to promote their content. I'm not sure why there is a conflict between us in this goal, but it sure as shit feels like we must be at war. I think I'm winning?

What's new in discchord v3.5.4:

One feature you will see though is that the site now uses a reverse order for pages. This post is going on page 2858, instead of page 1. That page 1 won't link to the same stuff next week, but page 2858 will always include this post.

This was suggested by reader Markus Gräser, and was a pain in the ass to pull off. There are some excellent reasons most sites do not do this. There's all kinds of weird issues with pagination and figuring out, "okay... then what is the number of the first page then?" Thanks to the highly customizable nature of the code base here, I was able to pull it off without sacrificing performance!

I think this was worth the effort though, because now if you search for something on Google and it links to index page 2545 here, you will actually find the thing you expect to find. The same goes for those of you that like to open up a billion tabs. Now if you leave open a background tab for Gear News on page 180 it will give you the same content when you return.

Nien! It's mine!

I had a weird dream Wednesday night that Jonathan Silverman, star of such films as Weekend at Bernie's and Weekend at Bernie's II, visited the site regularly and wanted me to know. I suspect this was my brain trying to cope with the sudden reemergence of Rick Moranis. After over a decade of self-imposed acting exile, Rick showed up on Wednesday in a deceptive ad for a wireless phone company. (It's actually $90/mo.)

This got me thinking though!

Are there any celebrities that read the site? Even minor celebs. I'm not typically in favor of celebrity culture, but I am when it strokes my own ego! Let me know in the comments or privately. I'd love to learn that someone like Tool synthesist Danny Carey reads the site.

discchord 9th Anniversary: Let's Play with Laplace (Drunk)

This month the site turned 9 and and I turned 41, so let's celebrate with a special Let's Play! Inspired by one of my favorite YouTuber's and her My Drunk Kitchen, I present the first (and last) episode of My Drunk Synthn!

Video Description:

To celebrate the site's 9th Anniversary, and my 41st birthday, I wanted to do something special for this Let's Play! One of my favorite YouTubers is Hannah Hart, and her My Drunk Kitchen Series (, so in an homage to her I am proud to present: My Drunk Synthn!

Webb Family Margarita Recipe
Ice Cream Maker Version - 2 servings:
• 45mL Jose Cuervo: Gold Tequila
• 15mL Triple Sec (I like DeKuyper, but most will do fine!)
• 50mL Frozen Limeaid Concentrate (Minute Maid is my favorite)
• 133mL water (RO, or Distilled is preferred, but tap will do.)

Blender Version:
Same, but swap the water with about 125mL of ice.

Ice Cream Maker on Amazon:
Laplace on App Store:

If you've enjoyed this series please consider supporting it by becoming a Patreon: If you'd prefer to help on a monthly basis, instead of per video, there is a monthly Patreon campaign: Or you can support me on Timmeon if you don't like Patreon: (Patrons of these campaigns get the same benefits, including Ad Free viewing on the site!)

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