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Apple iPhone Event 2018: The Aftermath

The rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated, but the rumors of today's Apple Event were pretty spot on. Apple kicked things off with a refresh to the Apple Watch before unveiling 3 new iPhones. There were no iPads announced today, but I just got a rumor submitted to me from a pretty serious source that suggests we'll have 2 new Pro models by the end of October. If my source is correct, the new iPads will lose the home button and lighting port in favor of USB-C. We'll know if he's right on October 30th!

Apple Watch 4

As expected the Apple Watch 4 was announced today, with a 64-bit processor that they promise will be 2x faster than the previous model. The displays are between 32-35% larger than the previous models as well. Also as expected the new model includes an electrocardiogram function, for a deep look at hearth rhythms.

One thing the rumors missed was an automatic fall detection system. People who masturbate with their left hands will want to remember to take off the watch, or it may automatically call emergency services to report your rapid and repeated falls.

The new watch will arrive on September 21st for $400, or $500 if you want the cellular version for phone calls.

iPhone XS

Apple's Phil Schiller is clearly not utilizing the fitness features of the Apple Watch. He was looking really out of shape today, and I was genuinely worried about him. He managed to bring a lot of excitement for the new iPhones though. Phil jumped right in to confirm the iPhone XS, and a new Plus sized iPhone XS Max.

Apple were uncharacteristically nerdy in their details about the new A12 Bionic. The new phone chip features a 6 core CPU (2 high-performance, 4 high-efficiency) , 4 core GPU, and 8 core Machine Learning (ML) engine. The biggest news here is actually in their manufacturing process which is now down to 7nm. For comparison, Intel's latest CPUs are still being built at 14nm transistors. The smaller transistors mean they can cram in that much more in the same space. At 6 CPU cores, 4 GPU cores, and 8 ML cores, that is 18 cores in a tiny chip!

Developers will have access to all of that in the new CoreML SDK. This could be big. Presently Machine Learning researchers need to invest in high priced graphics cards. If we get TensorFlow on iPhone this could be a huge boon to research, with so much power available as part of the price of your phone.

One thing the rumors really got wrong were the prices. These aren't cheaper at all. The XS arrives at $1,000 for 64GB, like last year's iPhone X, and the XS Max starts at $1,100. Both will be shipping September 21st.

iPhone XR

As expected there is a (slightly) cheaper iPhone. Unlike the iPhone 5c, this is not a hugely stripped down version. In fact it has nearly all of the features of the other two phones, including the A12 Bionic chip and Face ID. It is cheaper because it has an LCD display, instead of OLED, and does not have the advanced rear camera array. The LCD display resolution isn't terrible. It is 326ppi, which is equivalent to the iPhone 8.

I think this version will appeal to a lot of people over the XS and XS Max for the variety in color finishes. I'm seriously smitten with the Red. Unfortunately it isn't a whole lot cheaper, coming in at $750 on October 26th.

Reader Comments 9

No more masturbating with my left hand? Damn you, Apple! I’m going to have to find my haptic feedback elsewhere.... Now where did I leave my pictures of Jony Ive, I wonder....?

Not much in the way of Audio-related features but I guess they are supposed to be “phones” after all. Maybe iOS 12 will bring us some surprises....
September 12, 2018  | person nreyes

I like flatback phones personally... without a protruding camera lens - in case you apples read this... looks like im going to be stuck with my iphone se for quite some time (which is a good thing)- love that phone;)

speaking of ios 12- i really do hope that they have got their 5#1t together ... ye ol rumor has it that it wont slow things down etc... lets hope some people confirm or deny that fact when the time comes... ive been weary of updating my apple gear since they allowed ios 7 on an iphone 4.... my ipad air2 is still on ios 9, my iphone se is on ios 10... they are running very smoothly... if ios 12 will keep things snappy, I will upgrade the OS...

anywho... time will tell... ;)
September 12, 2018  | person_outline Spaced Invader
Somewhat audio-related: they're not including the 3.5mm headphone jack dongle with new phones. That's gonna cost an extra $9. Working towards that second trillion.

I don't think I'll be helping them reach that now they've killed off the SE. I was hoping for a refreshed model as the other iPhones are too big for my liking.
September 12, 2018  | person Bob
Still on my iPhone 4 and loving it!
September 12, 2018  | person_outline Simon
Self - pleasuring emergency detection at last✅

I’m stuck in a $$&!??@ airport and you made me laugh out loud.

September 12, 2018  | person_outline Lee Faulkner
*starts* at $1100. For. A. Phone. Am I the only one who thinks this is absofrickinlutely INSANE?!?
September 12, 2018  | person jimhanks
On September 12, 2018 - @Lee Faulkner said:
Self - pleasuring emergency detection at last✅

I’m stuck in a $$&!??@ airport and you made me laugh out loud.


Ha! Thanks for letting me know! That's funny. Safe travels!
I guess we're paying for the A12 bionic chip. Gonna be great in the iPad Pros as A12x and I think then we're approaching the highest levels of MacBook Pro power. That is in itself insane so even though I don't think that my phone needs that power, I still think its worth the upgrade on the IUpad Pros for IOS musicians. You will get your money's worth.
September 13, 2018  | person_outline flunky
On September 12, 2018 - @jimhanks said:
*starts* at $1100. For. A. Phone. Am I the only one who thinks this is absofrickinlutely INSANE?!?

You are not alone. It's insane. I thought the X was insanely priced from day one (and the stupidity of eliminating the home button for more gesture complication is just icing on that cake of stupidity).
September 14, 2018  | person dysamoria

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