Internet juggernaut Buzzfeed has purchased discchord in an acqui-hire to secure the prosaic writing of yours truly. Most of the content you've come to associate with discchord will still be here... Only better!
Given Buzzfeed's forumlaic headlines and appeal to the lowest common denominator, you may think that the people behind Buzzfeed were severely impaired cretins. Perhaps the victims of an industrial chemical accident that was extraordinarily high in mercury. You'd be incorrect in either surmise! Bafflingly, and sadly, Buzzfeed hires some of the brightest minds of their generation.
Their honed talent has perfected the art of journalism. Dan Rathers has been disgraced, Walter Cronkite is dead, and Christiane Amanpour has never once deigned to tell us which celebrity would be our best bestie based on a quiz of our puppy preferences. The old generation of elitist news is over and overthrown by millennials prepared to tackle the vexing challenges of the 21st century:
Under their strict guidance, and well worn article formula, I'm certain discchord will flourish!