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discchord 4th Anniversary!

The site is now in its 4th year as of this week! Perhaps more importantly, I'm turning 36 this week too! I thought I should give you all an update on the campaign I launched last year. As you all know, there's a mere 15 months left before the 2016 United States presidential elections and things have reached a fever pitch. Presently candidates are all trying to out-crazy one another in a bid to draw attention away from Donald Trump.

I want to assure all of my supporters that my campaign will continue to be the truly craziest option in 2016!


Disclaimer: Not an actual election fund.
This is just an overly elaborate birthday/fundraiser/April-Fools-day-in-August.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving:

Please help support my efforts by becoming a Patron of my Let's Play with Music Apps series. Today YouTube, tomorrow the world!

Single Gift:

If you are unable to contribute with ongoing patronage, consider a single one-time donation to the cause!


PayPal

Bitcoin

Some of my opponents reject my bid for Emperor on the basis that it is undemocratic. Some even point out the old adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Surely God has absolute power, but do you see anyone accusing the divine of corruption?

Actually... that gives me an idea...

Tim for God Emperor

My opponents are quick to point a finger at what's wrong with this country, but none of them offer any solutions. With untrammeled power, and divine authority, I will be able to Make America Greater Than!

Trumped

Far too many men with receding hairlines become overly self-conscious. They go to great lengths to conceal the truth written upon their brow, but in their inevitable failure become resentful and suspicious. "Can they tell this is a hairpiece? Are they talking about my hairpiece behind my back?" This ever-present paranoia gnaws on them constantly. It begins to interfere with their thoughts on other matters; leading them to say really dumb things about Mexicans.

As someone who started to go bald in my teens, I'm here to tell everyone to embrace who you are. Either shave it or save it, but do not try to lie to yourself or the rest of the world. When my administration comes to power the only hairpieces sold in this great country will be clown wigs.

Cold War 2

Russian aggression towards its neighbors has pushed us into a state of alertness not seen since the Cold War. We won that torpid conflict through an economic emphasis on science and technology. To win the seemingly inevitable Cold War 2 we must immediately prepare our scientific and technological advancements to meet this challenge.

A Drone in Every Home

As drones have served us in the Middle East, let them also serve us on the homefront. Through our high-tech vigilance we will be ready for the Red Army! Every man, woman, and child in America should become the operator of a drone. Also drones are really fucking cool!

By contributing to my campaign you will be directly funding my ambition to build a drone army!

TL;DR: I found a hobby. Please send money.


I've already got one drone in service. Here is it's patrol route, inspecting my home for signs of ISIS or Russian aggression.

Reader Comments 45

Happy Anniversary Tim!

What a great ride it has been thus far!

If it hadn't been for Discchord and all the people who help with videos on reviews and how to, I wouldn't be so skint! I jest, But it's superb, sadly I cannot list everyone who has opened my eyes to music and iOS.

Cheers to many more!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline M0nk3y

Happy birthday Tim, I loved this article and I for one will vote Tim for emperor. Those drones sure do look like a LOT of fun.

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Joe O'Hagan

Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday Tim!

This is your world, we just live here. As a fellow bald-headed iOS blogger, I'd humbly request a seat at the table once your reign as Emperor begins. Or, at least just ban glitter from the world. I hate glitter. Thanks!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline SeanG

Drone are very cool Happy Anniversary.and Birthday Tim but no money from me towards Russian aggression as no ones found any yet but I would give lots of money for a drone to fire at the senate and Fox News,

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Andre

beyond your curtains mister messiah 'is the real world av a look .

August 14, 2015  | person_outline billythequeer

@Tim Happy birthday Emperor. I honestly didn't believe that you could write a better post / campaign declaration than last year. But this is f-ing brilliant. I can't vote in the US but I award you my personal "Genius Award". You got me right here:

"Surely God has absolute power, but do you see anyone accusing the divine of corruption?"

PS: is your drone MIDI-fied?

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Klx

Thanks guys!

@Klx: There are telemetry transmitters that can be programmed to do a number of custom operations... but it'll probably just be easier to open up the throttle and plow straight into my neighbor's wind chimes!

Happy anniversary Tim! If only you were our emperor!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline matrix

Happy Birthday, Anniversary and big congrats Tim!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline RabidBat

Its all one day ~ Janis Joplin
+
Let them eat cake ~ crazy french bitch
=
Vote with your dollars! - someone on Earth

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Zenzilla

I was behind you until I realized you meant the flying kind o' drone...

August 14, 2015  | person_outline cbellevie

Happy Annibirthary Tim! Many happy returns (of your drone). Thankfully you're out of range of Kentucky where drone hunting season has already begun.

http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/08/video-kentucky-drone-only-hovered-for-about-22-seconds-before-being-shot-down/

August 14, 2015  | person_outline a1

Ha yeah, the first thing my dad asks: "So how many days do you think it will take before your neighbors shoot it down?"

<Slams the Table> Goddammit, I'm in!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline KDub

Happy Birthday Ti-.... Emperor Tim!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Colin Swinney

I bow to our future Emperor.

My best wish is for many more fruitful years for both Discchord and Tim Webb.

Damn, that drone contraption is kick-ass...what brand is that?

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Toz Bourne

Happy birthaversery! I look forward to another year of your Imperial Reign!

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Patrick/Secret Base Design

Congrats Tim. Up here in Canada, we have an appointed senate. In the mid 90's I ran for senator even though there was not, nor will there be an elected senate in the foreseeable future. I had two basic platforms:

1. Its my turn at the trough and if you vote for me it will be your turn real soon.
2. I promise to have an opinion on everything and will never use "No Comment".

Since then multiple senate expense scandals have taken the fun but not the generous income out of the position so I've moved on. :)

Thanks for your "take no prisoners" attitude and telling things like you see them.

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Steve

Has anyone told you you lremind them of the other famous Tim, Tim Heidecker of Tim and Eric?

August 14, 2015  | person_outline Anonymouse

@Anonymouse: I have heard that comparison, but I never watched the show. I was a big Adult Swim fan, absolutely loved Sealab 2021 and ATHF, but the promo ads for Tim & Eric didn't pique my interest.

@Toz: It's a Nano QX FPV. I did a lot of research on it! I decided on this one because it is infinitely upgradeable/customizable with after-market parts. So it's a nice piece to learn on (I've hit everything in my house, yet it hasn't even chipped the paint on my walls), and it can grow as I improve in my piloting.

"God-Emperor" you say?

May the knives of thine enemies chip and shatter.

August 14, 2015  | person_outline rbh

Happy Anniversary Tim!!! Thank you for all you do … this is my go to website everyday (like 10 times). Also love the drone and I want one. I have the first gen Parrot Drone … talk about an awesome toy!!! I still have it … haven't lost it to the universe … yet :). Love to you both … you rock!!!

August 15, 2015  | person_outline Marlene DeGrood

Happy Anniversary Tim from Tom (Synth Anatomy)
Good future works for discchord.com. Amazing work and website ;)

August 15, 2015  | person_outline Tom

omg drones, yes!!

HB2U!

August 15, 2015  | person_outline hansendesigns

i welcome our tim overlord. also, happy 4th disccord! :D

August 15, 2015  | person_outline petrov

Tim, same here. I was a big adult swim athf guy and also didn't like the Tim and Eric ads so never watched. But then my partner started playing them in front of me and after about 3 episodes I was hooked. Some of the funnier and more original stuff I have seen in a while. If you can get over that initial 'what the hell is going on here?' hump you should be rewarded. Man, some of those episodes are just amazing.

August 15, 2015  | person_outline Anonymouse

Time to pull out the Cinco MIDI Organizer. I don't think Tim ever reviewed it. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TSwqnR327fk

I still do Chopper Dave at work and two people in the whole company get it. Damn, Sealab 2021 was a good show.

August 15, 2015  | person_outline KDub

4 years and you still have not been sued - well done Tim!

August 15, 2015  | person_outline Simon

great stuff !! congrats.

us users, and f'sure the app developers, owe you a huge debt of gratitude. the way you run this place is pretty unique, and it's always a lot of fun to visit

here's to more :)

August 15, 2015  | person_outline el-bo

Dear Emperor!
I am deeply hoping you are not going to confine your lordship with ruling in justice only America. Please investigate to extend your dominion with ruling Poland. You may think we don't need any changes especially after just finished elections (do not ask who won, not here, not now) but I think a lot of iOS and Drones hotheads are in great danger here now. Happy Birthday anyway Tim, good work, keeps me smiling every day:)

August 15, 2015  | person_outline Piotr

@KDub: LOL! That one slipped past me.

@Piotr: Here in the Chicago area there are a whole lot of Polish folks. I think we may have more Poles than Poland. One of my neighbors taught me some Polish, though honestly all I remember is uwaga, because it was on a vulgar bumper sticker. I've always wanted to ask him how you'd say: "I've come to liberate Poland from democracy." But after two occupations in the last century (and one in his lifetime) I didn't think he'd find it funny. Rest assured, however, that in the coming war with Russia I will ensure Poland's safety by taking it for myself!

I, for one, welcome our discchord overlord!

We do get free cake and ice cream... right?

August 16, 2015  | person_outline Tony

If ya become emperor, can I be the Staff Chief of Joints?

Congrats homie.

August 16, 2015  | person_outline HotRock Supajoint

By the way, Presumptive Emperor Tim, the throne you're sitting on in the Drone Room looks way more comfortable than the porcelain one in your Official Throne Room. And thanks for sparing us THAT video, Your Benevolence.

August 16, 2015  | person_outline a1

Hmm.... Now that you mention it, I suppose over the years my whole house is slowly being revealed. One room at a time, by inappropriate and off-topic videos/photos! It actually wasn't more comfy to sit like that though. I haven't sat cross-legged like that in ages! I thought it would look kind of cool for the video, like I'm doing some kind of cyber-yoga.

Head for the great outdoors! This article just popped up today. Looks like there's a massive movement beginning. Also noted in the WSJ, some guy invested $1M in a FPV racing league!


http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2015/08/the-new-underground-sport-of-first-person-drone-racing/

August 16, 2015  | person_outline a1

Tim and a1 - racing, that's what I wanna do with these things.

Now, if we could figure out a way to combine FPV racing and iOS music, then we'd be set.

August 16, 2015  | person_outline Toz Bourne

Yeah! It was an FPV Racing video that got me interested in this in the first place. I had known about drones, especially for aerial photography, but they didn't seem compelling enough to justify the expense. Then I saw FPV and I was like... "Okay, now you've justified a whole lot of expense."

It was this video from the Mythbuster's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H19z1X3V4UQ

I was pretty much in by about halfway through the video, but that part at the end when they're soaring with birds in flight was the clincher.

Hi Tim. I am fan of your blog, i am russian, and i very disappointed by things you write about Russia here. So now we decided not to remove our interroom missile site and also our cat-dog radars from your bathroom. Sorry.

August 17, 2015  | person_outline Russian Agressor

God luck beloved leader!

August 17, 2015  | person_outline thomasf

I'm not american btw. but thats just a petty detail in these matters.

August 17, 2015  | person_outline thomasf

Oh wow, Russian Aggressor your IP address really is in Russia! I'm relieved to see you taking the joke as a joke. I try so hard to avoid real politics on the site, and was a little concerned about rubbing up against any wounds with the Cold War 2 stuff. Especially when two of my favorite app developers are Russian! I never know how my jokes translate though.

I will break with tradition, and say "knob, fuck you!" But only 'cos I love you really, Tim. I actually found you during a lunch-break browse in New Zealand when looking for a job (weird search engine result). Back in 2013. You look a bit older than I thought you would. But, hey. Fuck it. I ain't try in' to date ya. I'm just after your IOS dollars and freebies once you get off your fuckin' arse and start to give some sh't away you fuckin' skinflint. Bisous, as they say in France.

August 17, 2015  | person_outline Mr Chip

Happy birthday, Discchord and great job, Tim!

August 18, 2015  | person_outline Eli Bazini

happy aniverary tim! thanks so much for this awesome site! its at the top of my list!

September 05, 2015  | person_outline ian
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