Billy Joel Made a Deal With Cthulhu

While this site exists as a platform for me to share trivial nonsense that suits my interests, I don't think I've ever found any trivial nonsense that suits my interests as perfectly as this. Last week Twitter user Captain Video realized that an old H.P. Lovecraft poem matches the meter of Billy Joel's Piano Man. And it is amazing!

H.P. Lovecraft is known for his macabre literature, including the now iconic Cthulhu. The grim horror of his literary career outlines a pantheon of primordial gods known as The Great Old Ones. For over a century his works have been dismissed as fantasy.

Billy Joel is widely regarded as one of the greatest song writers of all time. He's written and performed 33 songs that made it into the Top 40, but Piano Man was his first hit. Is it coincidence that the song that got Billy Joel noticed is in the meter of Nemesis? The poem introduces us to the elder masters of the Universe, just as Piano Man introduced us to Billy Joel.

There have been rumors and suspicions that various artists have made a deal with the devil for their fame. Most people were probably expecting the Christian devil, but there are so many more. Now at the twilight of Billy's career, the devil will soon seek his due. 45 years after the release of Piano Man, we realize this strange conjunction. Surely this heralds the coming of a time when men will tear out their own eyes to avoid seeing the horrors that will reign. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

There have been a few attempts to set the poem to the tune. My favorite is the one by Julian Velard.

Video Description:

The internet made me do it. H.P Lovecraft's Nemesis mashed up with Billy Joel's Piano Man. Had to cut a couple lines to get it to fit. Sorry H.P.!


Thro’ the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-moon’d abysses of night,
I have liv’d o’er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

I have whirl’d with the earth at the dawning,
When the sky was a vaporous flame:
I have seen the dark universe yawning,
Where the black planets roll without aim;
Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.

I had drifted o’er seas without ending,
Under sinister grey-clouded skies
That the many-fork’d lightning is rending,
That resound with hysterical cries;
With the moans of invisible daemons that out of the green waters rise.

I have plung’d like a deer thro’ the arches
Of the hoary primoridal grove,
Where the oaks feel the presence that marches
And stalks on where no spirit dares rove;

I have stumbled by cave-ridden mountains
That rise barren and bleak from the plain,
I have drunk of the fog-foetid fountains
That ooze down to the marsh and the main;And in hot cursed tarns I have seen things I care not to gaze on again.

I have scann’d the vast ivy-clad palace,
I have trod its untenanted hall,
Where the moon writhing up from the valleys
Shews the tapestried things on the wall;
Strange figures discordantly woven, which I cannot endure to recall.

I have peer’d from the casement in wonder
At the mouldering meadows around,
At the many-roof’d village laid under
The curse of a grave-girdled ground;

I have haunted the tombs of the ages,
I have flown on the pinions of fear
Where the smoke-belching Erebus rages,
Where the jokulls loom snow-clad and drear:
And in realms where the sun of the desert consumes what it never can cheer.

I was old when the Pharaohs first mounted
The jewel-deck’d throne by the Nile;
I was old in those epochs uncounted
When I, and I only, was vile;

Oh, great was the sin of my spirit,
And great is the reach of its doom;
Not the pity of Heaven can cheer it,
Nor can respite be found in the tomb:
Down the infinite aeons come beating the wings of unmerciful gloom.

Thro’ the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-moon’d abysses of night,
I have liv’d o’er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

Poison-202 Vintage Synthesizer Update

Poison-202 Vintage Synthesizer, from Jim Pavlov, was updated with a new Random button to generate a random patch. This feature is currently only available in Standalone mode. I double-checked the AUv3 version and it has room for the Random Button on the panel, so perhaps that will be added in a later update.

What's new in Poison-202 Vintage Synthesizer v2.2:

- supported AudioBus SDK updated to version 3.0.3;
- added "Random" button (on the Patch page of the standalone currently): now you can randomize current patch with built-in pseudo randomizer to achieve interesting unpredictable sounds;
- added support of on iOS 11 to ease access to imported/exported p202 user bank files, located in Documents folder;
- added support of iOS share sheet to ease importing and exporting of p202 user bank files from external locations;
- fixed crash on some devices with iOS 11 when locking the screen/fetching app to the background;
- fixed bug when playing patch in Solo mode, some notes sometimes could rip off without release;
- other minor improvements.

SP-404sx Synth Sample Performance feat. Moog Model 15

iOS Music Production sampled Moog Model 15 into an Roland SP-404sx sampler. There he's able to perform with the cuts and effects in the 404!

Video Description:

Here I perform playing some samples I created with the Moog Model 15 iPad App. I just applied some reverb straight from the SP 404sx. It sounds great. Recorded using a Gopro Hero 6.

TheAudioDabbler: Blaster Laser Gun Sound Design Tutorial

Mitch from TheAudioDabbler brings us a fun sound design tutorial for BeatMaker 3; making a Blaster Laser! Pew-pew!

Video Description:

Fun designing a Blaster or Laser Gun sound using Beatmaker 3 on my iPad.

Meadowlark Sound link.

Red Stag Sound link

Patreon Link(if your into that sort of thing)

Paypal Link

Kalkartronic - Live Jam @ Electric Café

YouTuber Kalkartronic brought a lot of fun toys to a Synth Meeting in Oberhausen, Kreativquartier Eisenheim this weekend. There he jammed out with his gear and iPad!

Video Description:

On stage live jamming @ Electric Café, Synth Meeting in Oberhausen, Kreativquartier Eisenheim on 20 January 2018. Great location, great event, nice people. This was fun!
Stay tuned for more upcoming events:
Like me if you like:

Gear used:
Arturia Beatstep, Korg Volca Keys, Waldorf Rocket, Waldorf Streichfett, Korg Kaosspad mini, Patchblocks tek.drum, Mooer Repeater, Mooer Microloop, Kenton Midi Thru 5, Patterning Drum Machine (ipad), Xynthesizr (ipad), Swissonic Keyboard.

Thanks a lot for watching!

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